Caught In The Act - Is The Affair Completely Over?
It’s unfortunate that after discovering a spouse’s affaire the offender still does not break off the relationship. What they may be doing is keeping the door of opportunity open for them in case they feel they must cheat again. For the one being cheated on this can leave you feeling powerless to do anything for your situation.
After already being devastated by the news your spouse has cheated on you, now you have to discover if it is possible to end your spouse’s affair for good. You must understand that you will have the strength to get your spouse to break off all contact with the other person if you pursue it.
What is it you can do to assure your spouse has ended their affair? In reality it is your spouse’s responsibility to end the affair so does not try calling the other person. They will not listen to you if you tell them to stay away. This is a job only your spouse can do.
Your spouse must understand that if the two of you wish to save your marriage then their interest in the other person must end for good. Also consider this – if the person that your spouse cheated on were to suddenly die, would they still cheat on you with someone else? Before you can save your marriage this kind of behavior must be changed.
You might be in a state of shock because of the powerless feeling you have now. Your spouse can effectively end their affair now or continue on with it. Or they could leave you or join you in saving your relationship. This must be a terrible state to be in not knowing which way things will go.
When you found out about the affair were you angry? If yes that is a good thing. You have a good sense of what is right and wrong by the way your spouse has treated you, you could have reacted without anger, just resignation.
It may be hard to accept, but your spouse is probably confused know as well. They did not expect to get caught while living out their fantasy while cheating on you. They may have thought the affair was the perfect relationship and now the dream has been shattered. They must decide what the right thing to do is and that choice should be with you and your marriage.